Self-talk is one way to deal with stress. We all talk to ourselves; sometimes we talk out loud but usually we keep self-talk in our heads. Self-talk can be positive (“I can do this” or “Things will work out”) or negative (“I’ll never get well” or “I’m so stupid”). Negative self-talk increases stress. Positive self-talk helps you relax and manage stress. With practice, you can learn to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
- Listen to what you’re saying to yourself: We don’t always consciously take note of what we’re saying in our minds. The first step in improving your self-talk is to notice what your inner voice is saying. Is your self-talk mostly positive or mostly negative? Take some time each day to listen to, and even write down, what you’re thinking.
- Put negative stuff into a box: When we’re beating ourselves up, the tiniest mishap can turn into the largest disappointment. So the next time a negative thought comes to mind, take a few deep breaths and quickly put that thought into a tiny box in your head-this will help you see the actual size of the problem and make you feel more confident to take it on.
- There’s no place you can’t practice it: To help you feel better, practice positive self-talk every day — in the car, at your desk, before you go to bed or whenever you notice negative thoughts.
- Put a better spin on it: Positive self-talk makes you feel good about yourself and the things that are going on in your life. A simple semantic tweak can actually change your outlook.
- Remember: Positive self-talk helps you relieve stress and deal with the situations that cause you stress. Turn the negative into a positive!
| Negative | Positive |
|---|---|
| "I can't do this." | "I'll do the best I can." |
| "Everything is going wrong." | "I'm human, and we all make mistakes.” |
| "I hate it when this happens." | "I know how to deal with this; I've done it before." |
| “I am so overwhelmed, there is just too much to do.” | "I can handle things if I take one step at a time." |